Negotiating Under Impasse: When to Push, When to Pause

If you’ve been in enough mediations, you’ve been there: everything seems stuck. The parties are circling the same numbers or repeating the same talking points. It feels like nothing will break the stalemate. At that moment, the mediator (and the lawyers) have a decision to make: is this the time to push through or the time to pause?

Recognizing the Impasse

An impasse isn’t simply a disagreement—it’s when movement stalls. Offers are exchanged, but they don’t narrow the gap. Emotions run high, patience runs low, and the energy in the room begins to sag. Recognizing this moment is critical, because what happens next can make or break the mediation.

When to Push

Sometimes a push is exactly what’s needed. That may mean:

• Reality Testing: Asking tough questions about risks, costs, and alternatives. What happens if the case goes to trial? How long will it take? What will it cost?

• Bracketing or Midpoints: Offering a range or suggesting a midpoint to see if there’s overlap in possible outcomes.

• Changing Perspectives: Reframing the issue from dollars to principles, values, or interests. Sometimes a party isn’t stuck on money but on recognition, apology, or precedent.

• Incremental Movement: Even small steps can signal good faith and get negotiations moving again.

Pushing works best when the parties have more flexibility than they realize or when one side just needs help getting past a psychological barrier.

When to Pause

Other times, more pressure just hardens positions. That’s when a pause is the better choice. Pausing doesn’t mean failure—it’s a strategy.

Ways to pause include:

• Taking a Break: Letting everyone catch their breath, grab a snack, or make a phone call. Time away can reset attitudes.

• Adjourn and Reconvene: Sometimes the best move is to schedule a second session after new information, discovery, or client reflection.

• Shifting Topics: Moving away from the sticking point to resolve other, less contentious issues first.

• Letting Silence Work: Often, the most powerful move in negotiation is to say nothing at all and let the other party sit with the last offer.

Pauses work best when the parties need space to process, when emotions are running high, or when new information may help.

The Mediator’s Role

A skilled mediator knows when to push and when to pause. It’s less about formulas and more about reading the room by watching body language, sensing frustration levels, and listening between the lines. An experienced mediator can apply just enough pressure to encourage movement without tipping a party into entrenchment.

An impasse in mediation may stall the process, but it can also set the stage for progress. Sometimes it’s the pressure of reality testing that breaks it. Other times it’s the release of a pause that clears the way. Knowing when to push and when to pause is as much art as science. And it’s one of the many reasons why the right mediator makes all the difference.